Remember New Coke? Now There's "New Archy"
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Author: Vincent Lardo
Title: McNally's Dilemma Genre: mystery Perhaps the most infamous case of ill-advised substitution in history occurred the day that Coca-Cola tried to pawn off a reformulation of their signature product as "New Coke." Since I'm a Pepsi soldier in the cola wars, I missed the significance, although I do claim emotional trauma from the insipid Lemon Pepsi of the same era. Other, similar instances of replacements falling markedly short of the originals (Rambo sequels and the Dune series are hereby deemed ineligible) occurred when the estate of Margaret Mitchell hired some hack to pen a sequel to Gone With the Wind, and when the estate of Lawrence Sanders picked Vincent Lardo to continue the Archy McNally mystery franchise after Sanders' death. For those who aren't familiar with him, Archy McNally is the spoiled scion of a wealthy Palm Beach family. The thirty-something law-school dropout dabbles in private investigations while still living in his parents' palatial home. Although his lawyer father's money (the family is nouveau riche, I fear) grants entrée to local society, Archy himself often tends to beer tastes on a champagne budget. He's an annoying name-dropper - his cigarettes are English Ovals, his cognac is Remy Martin - and, worse, an utter fop. But more on that later - first, let's see how Lardo managed to muck up McNally in McNally's Dilemma. A Crime of Passion When McNally père receives a frantic call from a valuable (read: "rich") client, it's McNally fils - Archy - who rushes to the aid of the newly widowed Melva Williams. Unfortunately, husband Geoff (number two in the series) died by her hand - according to the defense, upon being caught in flagrante delicto by his pistol-packing wife. Archy's main duty comprises keeping Veronica Manning, Melva's ravishing twenty-two-year-old daughter, out of sight of the paparazzi while she goes through the plebian process of being booked and having a bail hearing. The lawyering falls to a New York firm, so McNally and Son merely offer office space and local support (for a reasonable fee, of course). Archy would love a juicy murder case (complete with a pulchritudinous blonde) to work on, but he's out of luck. Too bad there's something about the circumstances that keeps gnawing at the back of his mind. And One of Calculation Even though Archy's lost his stake in the Williams murder, he soon takes a new case for the little firm he calls "Discreet Investigations." A local old-money family's closet-bound skeleton has been unearthed, to wit: Grandpa didn't really go down with the Titanic; he escaped to a lifeboat. In drag. It's up to Archy to suss out the blackmailer and make him go away quietly. The household staff is the logical starting point, and the newly hired chauffeur just happens to have been recommended by - ta-da! - the late Geoff Williams. Even though he spends his evenings squiring the delectable Veronica to Palm Beach boîtes and avoiding the prying eves of his long-term girlfriend Connie (not to mention gossip columnist Lolly Spindrift), Archy still manages to stick his mug into everybody else's business. It will come as no surprise that he unearths the key to the nagging mystery of Geoff's death while researching his blackmail case... or that he won't breathe a word about the blissful moments he spent with the beauteous Veronica. And if you're an astute reader, his final dénouement won't be much of a surprise, either. Lardo Ain't No Sanders I'll be the first to admit that Archy McNally does not rank among my favorite characters. The boy, frankly, makes my teeth hurt - but it's because Sanders designed him as a galling, bothersome little prig. Take his supercilious habits (the English Ovals and the post-prandial marc), his rapturous descriptions of women, his pampered lifestyle with Mommy and Daddy - take them, please! Or consider his apparent irresistibility to whatever beautiful woman he happens upon during his cases, and that Connie always takes him back. Or - and this one's a doozy - take his wardrobe, a haberdashery habit that would embarrass Beau Brummel. Sanders created McNally, I am sure, as a spoof - an antidote to the hard-boiled likes of Spenser and Spade. To paraphrase the immortal words of Jackson and McCartney, "He's a lover, not a fighter." Where Lardo's Archy falls off the rails is that Vince missed the point: after seven episodes, Archy suddenly takes himself seriously? Get real! Sure, his irritating and ingratiating habits are still there; he still spouts those goofy sesquipedalian pronouncements. Of course he still lunches at his "club" and has his clandestine arrangement with Detective Rogoff, still pokes fun at the grandes dames of Palm Beach Society behind their backs. But the new Archy is somehow less charming than the old. He's less of a harmless rake and more hard-edged. I don't know that Lawrence would be happy with this leaner and meaner Archy - his fans certainly weren't. At the same time, Lardo lets down mystery fans as well. The plot is hackneyed, and Lardo repeatedly telegraphs a critical clue (not once, not twice, but at least thrice). Too, Lardo falls into one of the most irritating habits of second-rate mystery writers: the coincidence trap. So what if Archy can't work on the murder? Just give him a second, seemingly unrelated case so he can solve the murder via the back door. Nope, I still don't think Sanders (whom I respect for eschewing both of those irksome cliches) would have been happy. Long-time fans of the McNally series were disappointed, and those who are reading their way through a newly discovered writer (Sanders) will probably be disappointed, too. Seeing as Lardo has written more installments, I suppose he either got it right the next time or he was under an ironclad contract. Whatever the case, skip this one... Parting Shot You have to wonder - did Lardo deliberately mingle and mangle the Romance languages to make his Archy appear even more affected? Or does he really think that arroz avec pollo (Spanish mixed with French) and il momento de verdad (Spanish mixed with Italian) make sense? Hmmph! I can't remember Sanders ever doing that. all content copyright © 2001-present by scmrak
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