Revenge May be Sweet, but Good Writing is Sweeter
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Author: Jilianne Hoffman
Title: Retribution Genre: thriller Ever been dumped without warning by a lover? an employer? Ever seen your whole life turned upside down by someone else? Bet you wanted to get even, didn’t you – it seems that despite a Biblical proscription (”Vengeance is Mine,” sayeth the Lord), revenge drives many a man or woman’s actions. Chloe Janson’s life was turned inside out, upside down – forever altered by an assault of shocking brutality. The scars on her skin were nothing compared to those on her psyche, scars that drove her to change her name and appearance and move a thousand miles away. The man who gave her those scars got away scot free. Until today. Chloe – now C. J. Townsend, prosecuting attorney in Miami – has discovered the man who raped her and left her for dead twelve years ago; found him sitting right there in her courtroom. He’s been charged with the tenth in a series of murders, all young blonde women, all astoundingly graphic and violent. Hannibal Lecter and Jeffery Dahmer have nothing, it seems, on Bill Bantling. And C. J. would recognize that voice, that distinctive scar, anywhere. It looks like she’s gonna get her revenge… C. J. must simultaneously grapple with the re-awakening of her dread and fear and the dawning of amorous feelings for the chief investigator in the serial murders. Luckily she has a friendly psychiatrist as a confidant. As she wrestles with her conscience – she should, after all, recuse herself from this case – she also face the probability that the wealthy and charming Bantling will walk on this case, too, if she turns it over to another prosecutor. Should she continue and get Retribution? or should she hold on to the case secure in the knowledge that she can take an evil creature an off the streets forever? Yeah, sure… there’s a no-brainer. Maybe. First Time Jitters First-time novelist Jilliane Hoffman is, like her protagonist, a prosecutor in Florida (not to mention blonde). Upon joining the ranks of lawyers turned writers, Hoffman has chosen to spin a dark tale of graphic violence, including within it a long and disturbing rape scene and vivid details of the deprivations visited upon his victims by “Cupid,” the murderer. Her debut combines aspects of courtroom drama, psychological thriller, revenge novel, and serial-killer police procedural, with a taste of Harlequin thrown in for good measure. As do many first-time authors, Hoffman has chosen to “come out swinging” by adopting the subjects and styles of best-selling novels. To do so, she jumped on the hackneyed serial-killer bandwagon, adopting the terminology (“escalating,” “organized”) made familiar by well-worn dialogue in television cop shows. She adopted the gut-wrenching plot twists – introduced after the supposed “climax” – favored by many best-selling authors. There is, of course, conflict between the local cops and the feds. She included the ever-popular device of brief chapters seen through the eyes of The Evil One. In short, she embraced just about every contrivance that had been used in best-selling mystery fiction over the past decade. No book can serve so many masters. As a courtroom drama, Retribution lacks drama – it also lacks sense. As a serial-killer police procedural, it lacks police procedure – especially the now de rigueur forensic magic of CSI. The romance seems tacked on and tacky. The fed-local conflict is pure filler. The gut-wrenching plot twist was twisty, but only a little – my jaded eyes caught the impending turn several chapters early. Hoffman’s characters are stereotypical and cardboard thin, and her antipathy toward the Cuban residents of Miami borders on racism in spots. Her male characters – especially in the (very) long prologue – are so stereotyped as to give Hoffman the appearance of a misandrist.* The writing is clumsy in places, marked by lawyer-like verbosity and in need of a firm hand at the editing desk (Putnam seems to have a weak in-house editing staff for first-timers). Overall Though having apparently been heavily hyped, Retribution should have been instead heavily edited. There is the germ of a story here, but Hoffman has not yet paid sufficient dues or shown sufficient knowledge of her subject to step into some of the areas she covers in such a blasé fashion. As a lawyer, she presumably knows the courtroom, but she has little business dealing with the police and psychological aspects of the case. The result is a jumbled tale, one that needed a firm hand guiding its telling. My advice is to skip this one. * Misandrist: one who hates men. Compare to “misogynist.” all content copyright © 2014 by scmrak
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