I'd Advise You to Think Twice Before Reading This!
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Author: Lisa Scottoline
Title: Think Twice Genre: thriller Buried deep in every thriller writer's closet there must be a box wrapped in yellow crime-scene tape and closed by myriad hasps and padlocks; emblazoned with "Open Only in Case of Emergency!" in bold red letters. Most writers leave their box sealed forever, for to break the seals often opens the owner to ridicule and scorn. Yet some, perhaps desperate to complete that six-book contract, finally cut the tape, open the box, and dump its contents onto the desk. I can only imagine the scene: out flutters a single folded sheet of heavy white paper, sealed with a bit of Scotch tape and bearing the neatly-printed label "Desperation Plot Device." With trembling hands, the writer slits the tape and unfolds the sheet to find just five words: EVIL TWIN SEPARATED AT BIRTH. There may be no plot device in literature more redolent of shark-jumping than this, a plot device from whose use authors rarely recover. Legal thriller writer Lisa Scottoline is one of the few to survive its use intact, having played the card reasonably well in the 1999 Bennie Rosato courtroom drama Mistaken Identity. Rosato's the good twin, Alice Connelly the evil interloper whom Rosato must defend in a murder case. It went well, especially when compared to the ditz-lit installments in the series featuring Mary DiNunzio. It did not, however, go well enough for Scottoline to make a second trip to the well - but she did: it's Think Twice. A rare reunion of the sisters goes sour when Alice dumps roofies in Bennie's wine, then shoves her twin into a pine box and buries it in a remote hayfield. Alice then steals Bennie's car and ID, kills her dog, seduces her ex-boyfriend, and assumes her identity in the office. She then proceeds to clean out Bennie's bank accounts (to the tune of several million) and book her flight to the Bahamas, all the while representing herself as Bennie to the associates at Rosato and to Bennie's ex-lover, Grady. Damn, she's good! Meanwhile Bennie awakens buried alive in a wooden box. Between her perseverance and twin visits from deus ex machina, Bennie extricates herself only to end up in an above-ground mess. Half-naked, lacking any ID, and "raving" about an evil twin who tried to murder her, Bennie lacks much credibility out in the sticks as the universe conspires against her by sending every contact she has in the Philly PD and DA's office on vacation simultaneously. Meanwhile, Alice's easy manipulation of the queen of gullibility (DiNunzio), however, places roadblock after roadblock in Bennie's path back. As Bennie closes in on her twin, even taking a page from the scam artist's playbook, the twins both throw caution (not to mention good sense and societal mores) to the winds. Can Bennie reclaim her identity before her evil twin destroys it forever? Stay tuned. Scottoline may have pulled off the evil twin gig in Mistaken Identity, but she should have thought twice before going back for more - especially while stepping outside the comfortable confines of a Philadelphia courtroom. Doing so required far too much writing in the "and the house gave a lurch as the termites finished the east wing" style, forcing Scottoline to pair her "whole universe conspiring against Bennie" theme with the "Alice is a con woman and can fool anyone" theme. Apparently to distract her readers from this flabby collection of plot devices, Scottoline tosses in plot threads about DiNunzio's dad canoodling with a sexy widow, DiNunzio's attempt to make partner, and her buying a house (maybe) with her boyfriend Ant'ny. The appearances of papa DiNunzio are absolutely teeth-grinding, as Scottoline saddles him with dead hearing aids SHOUTING AT EVERYONE constantly (I had the misfortune to read the book in a large-print edition, making it worse). Think Twice is, I guess, supposed to be a non-stop thriller; with a climax in which Bennie must face down a very personal, mirror-image demon. There's an attempt (not very successful) to turn the plot into a little morality play about nature vs. nurture, along with some strange supernatural visitation that makes absolutely no sense. Overall, however, it's not thrilling: it's just irritating. An aside to author and editor: harvesting hay is a two-step process: you mow it and then come back after it's dried to rake and then bale it. You don't use a "harvester" to spit out giant cylinders. And what farmer would drive past a fresh pile of dirt in his hay field, a bare spot with tire tracks leading to it, and not get off to look more closely? Do your research next time, people all content copyright © 2001-present by scmrak
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